In an age where women are often pressured to climb the corporate ladder or pursue high-powered careers, Alyssa “Ally” Dee has chosen a radically different path. The 28-year-old woman has stepped away from the traditional work world to embrace a more domestic role as a “trad wife”—a woman who dedicates herself to homemaking, cooking, and supporting her husband while forgoing her career. And she’s not backing down from her decision, even in the face of harsh criticism from feminists.
Dee’s decision to leave her military career behind and adopt a more traditional lifestyle was inspired by her relationship with her husband, Tom, 51. The two met in the military and eventually got engaged, but it wasn’t until after their engagement that Dee realized how much her fiancé valued a more traditional family dynamic. As she observed their relationship, Dee realized that Tom wanted more attention to the home and to himself—and she suspected that staying home could benefit both their relationship and her future.
“I had a sneaking suspicion that it might benefit our relationship if I stayed home,” Dee shared. Two-and-a-half years into their marriage, Dee is now pregnant with their first child, and her decision to embrace homemaking has been more fulfilling than she could have imagined.
Unlike the stereotypes often thrown at women who make this choice, Dee says her life as a homemaker is far from a gilded cage. Her husband, Tom, gives her $100 a week to spend on “snacks, coffee, and occasional shopping,” allowing her to enjoy financial independence in a way that she finds rewarding. While some critics argue that this is akin to having a “sugar daddy,” Dee pushes back, arguing that modern women could find more happiness by following her lead.
“I encourage other women to pursue the same dynamic for their future financial success,” Dee asserts, advocating for a lifestyle where women can enjoy the peace of a home-centered life rather than the stresses of the corporate grind. According to Dee, she is now earning more as a stay-at-home wife than she did while serving in the military. Her husband’s financial support includes not only the $100 per week but also health insurance, and Dee makes it clear that this arrangement suits her better than any 9-to-5 job.
“I would probably be considered on his bankroll, he pays for my living,” Dee adds. “The alternative is going to an actual job with an actual boss. Keep in mind that’s a man that doesn’t care about you.” Tom, for his part, is delighted with the arrangement, which allows him to focus on his own career while Dee manages the homefront.
This traditional setup has earned Dee a fair share of attention on social media, with some feminists accusing her of being lazy or a “gold digger.” But Dee remains firm in her conviction that this way of life is far from oppressive. In fact, she argues that feminism itself has become a “female supremacy movement,” and she believes that many women today are simply missing out on the happiness that comes with embracing a traditional role.
Tom, for his part, laughs off the gold digger accusations, pointing out that his wife only asked for $100 a week—a far cry from the stereotypical image of a woman looking for lavish wealth.
While Dee faces criticism from some, she’s also receiving a great deal of support, particularly from women who admire her decision to step away from the modern, “woke” mentality. “There are a lot of women out there who are looking for this lifestyle,” says California homemaker Gretchen Adler, 38. “They want to take back their homes. They want to get out of the fast-paced lifestyle of the job environment, the boss babe mentality, and they just want to be home.”
For Dee, the choice to embrace the trad wife lifestyle isn’t about stepping backward—it’s about stepping into a life of purpose and fulfillment. As she sees it, modern relationships often lack balance, with men and women swapping roles and creating discord. In contrast, the traditional marriage dynamic that she and Tom share has allowed them both to thrive. In Dee’s words, “I think most modern relationships aren’t happy. Men act like women, women act like men, and when they get together, they have a really unbalanced dynamic.”
For those who claim that women should be doing anything but homemaking, Dee offers a simple but powerful response: “This is the best job I’ve ever had.” And in a world where traditional values are increasingly under fire, her choice to embrace a domestic role has made her an unlikely symbol of empowerment.
