“We have been in a relationship for one year, and we had a baby boy last week,” the mom posted on Reddit. “I had a natural birth, and my boyfriend was there throughout the whole process.” Mom then shared her experience of childbirth, which was a tremendously painful ordeal; however, instead of offering solace and support during this time, her boyfriend was harsh and critical.
Mom continued, “I screamed a lot, and each time I did, he whispered something like ‘can you stop screaming? You’re really embarrassing me.’”
Who would deny a woman in labor the right to cry out and express her pain? It is well known that childbirth can be one of the most excruciatingly painful experiences that any human being may have. To expect someone not to scream or yell during this time could only add further suffering.
“I also threw up a few times, and I saw him cover his face in shame. When I held the midwife’s hand for comfort, he whispered, ‘let go of her. Stop being so embarrassing.’ He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing and called me a few vulgar names.”
Although the young couple had been together for a mere year, they were soon to be parents. Unfortunately, as mom’s Reddit post described it, the birthing process seemed to bring out an unpleasant side of dad.
“I’m really upset about his behavior that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most,” the shamed mom continued. “When I try to talk to him about it, he denies ever saying it and that I’m being silly …”
Moms everywhere were outraged that this mom’s boyfriend was not supportive during her labor with the midwife. Countless people commented on the post to show their support for her and affirm that she deserves someone who will be there for her in such a critical moment.
“I literally s–t myself (a lot) while having a contraction, then my water broke a minute after,” one woman wrote. “That is all said to assure you that your boyfriend’s behavior is NOT normal and is NOT acceptable. You’re not being silly. This is a huge red flag and a big indicator of what his future behavior will be like in stressful situations.”
“Childbirth isn’t pretty. It’s beautiful bringing life into the world, but everything else is nope. A lot of fluids and stuff,” another person wrote.
“Seriously, feel for OP. She should never have had to deal with that,” another person commented. “There’s no room for embarrassment in time because it just is what it is. It’s gross. It smells. You’re exposed. The last thing OP needed was someone pointing that out and shaming her.”
People urged the mother to immediately end her toxic relationship and move on.
“Please end this relationship,” one user said. “He was downright cruel to you when you were at your most vulnerable. This isn’t a case of him freezing or being unsure of what to say to comfort you. This was him actively tearing you down while you needed him most.”
“Abusers only show their true face once they think you are stuck with them. Too dependent to just say f– you I am leaving,” another added.
Despite the new mom’s suggestion to have couples counseling with her boyfriend, he refused and so she decided it was time to part ways.
“My mom has agreed to let me stay there until I can find a new place for myself and baby,” the new mother said. “I haven’t said anything to him yet. I’ve been advised not to, so I am still planning out how I am going to take the next step.”
