At church, a young woman named Brynn met a gay man and felt the sparks fly. She explains in an article for Café Mom why she pursued a relationship with an openly gay guy despite wanting a conventional relationship with a straight guy. “I noticed Matthew on my first Sunday in that congregation. He sticks out, not just because of his height but also because of his curly hair, infectious smile, and exuberance for life.”
Matthew made the first move, approaching the woman. She was afraid that because he was so good-looking, he was a “player” who simply wanted to sleep with her. She was relieved to discover that he was a homosexual.
“I’m not sure how, but we started talking about books. In that short conversation, I learned we both loved books, care a lot about gender and racial equity, and might enjoy getting to know each other more. He asked for my phone number, I gave it, and we parted ways.”
Their first encounter was a disaster. They had been planning to go out with a group of pals, but several people were unable to make it. Instead, the only other person who showed up was Matthew’s close female buddy, who “monopolized the conversation, talking about inside jokes and people only they knew.” According to the author, this girl also seemed in love with him.
He shocked her when he invited her out on a date with just the two of them.
“Matthew then called me and asked if I would hang out with him — with just him. We went on an only-Matthew-and-Brynn date to the Japanese Friendship Gardens. It was like magic. We talked and talked, and he wove us beautiful crowns out of some pruned cherry blossom branches.”
Eventually, it was time for Matthew to express something with Brynn.
“We talked and talked, and it seemed like he had something on his mind that he wanted to tell me. When he said, ‘I’m gay,’ I wasn’t entirely surprised, but I also didn’t really care. If he was choosing to spend time with me, then why would his sexual orientation matter? He was choosing to spend time with me. It never occurred to me to feel threatened by his sexual orientation.”
Even while Matthew was dating a guy, the couple continued to see each other. Brynn was pleased to hear that he had discovered someone else.
“His dating a man was, if anything, a positive for me. I knew Matthew and loved him as a friend and human and wanted him to have a fulfilling life, even if that meant being with someone who didn’t fit into our religious lifestyle (heterosexual relationships only).”
Months passed, and Brynn began seeing another guy. She had to relocate and wanted assistance, so she contacted Matthew.
“When Matthew and I saw each other again, it was like … sparks? Fireworks? An explosion? Our eyes met, and we SAW each other. I was mad at the boxes, the things to move. I just wanted to spend time with him. I felt the same energy from him.”
After the relocation, Matthew proposed that they get back together. They did and made the decision to marry. “We decided to get married in Utah, where much of our extended family lived.” However, “because of our religious beliefs, there was a limit to our intimacy before marriage.”
Despite the fact that Matthew is gay, the pair was able to make it work. They started a family together. “Right now, we’re living in Michigan with our two girls — Guinevere (1) and Amandine (2).”
