Many of us have that one mother-in-law who seems to be a monster rather than a law. You know, the one with an opinion about everything under the sun. The one who visibly disapproves when you pick up fast food instead of cooking at home. The one who gets your newborn’s ears pierced without even asking for permission first.
Yes, you heard correctly.
If your mother-in-law took your child to get her ears pierced without telling you – and after you specifically told her no several times – how would you react? One mother was outraged after this happened to her, so she took to Reddit’s popular “Am I The A**hole?” thread to express her anger.
The woman begins explaining that she and her husband come from very different backgrounds, so the relationship she has with her in-laws is sometimes a little strained. While she embraces some aspects of his culture, there are other things she needs to stand firm on (like the role of women in society).
One thing that differed significantly in opinion between the girls and her was the idea of piercing young girls’ ears.
“It’s a big deal in my husband’s culture that the baby girls get their ears pierced pretty much at birth,” the woman wrote. ” wasn’t comfortable with it. I know they won’t remember it and wasn’t so much the pain aspect, but more so I wanted her to be able to decide. Yes, the holes close up, but I’d rather her get to decide when or if she pierces them, when she’s older.”
Though she shared her feelings about it with her mother-in-law, her nightmare continued.
“Last weekend, we went out to run a few errands kid free. [My] mother-in-law kept them out a bit later and when she returned….my daughter had pierced ears,” the woman said. “She said she had my sister-in-law (husband’s sister) do them. She’s done them for all the babies in the family and it was tradition.”
Obviously, this was not received well.
“I was pissed,” the woman said. “I felt so violated, took my kids and told her to leave. My husband was equally as pissed and they argued outside, in their native language, for quite a bit, before mother-in-law left.” The mother has since decided to remove the earrings from her daughter so that she would have control later about whether or not she wanted to get her ears pierced.
The majority of people who read the post agreed that the daughter, not the mother, is in the wrong here – the mother gets to make decisions regarding her own child. The actions of the mother-in-law were out of line and disrespectful.
Others noted that it is crucial to follow cultural norms and be respectful. In any case, everyone said that going behind her back was not okay!
This mother-in-law’s actions have left us speechless. Did something similar ever happen to you? How would you manage the situation?
