Generally, happily married people will tell you that communication, trust, and respect are the key values in their relationship. Most people look for these specific qualities when choosing a life partner, and marriages without them are usually less successful.

This woman thought she found the man of her dreams, but after being married to him for only a couple hours, she quickly realized that he couldn’t stay that way. In fact, she asked for a divorce just one day after tying the knot.

So what happened? At their wedding’s cake-cutting ceremony, one of the most controversial traditions occurred. After the new husband and wife cut their cake, as per tradition, the groom smashes the cake into his bride’s face. Sometimes, to keep it humble, the groom just smears a little of the pie filling along with the bride’s nose or cheek instead of ruining her hundreds-of-dollars hair and makeup job—not to mention, the cake and her sanity!

Although it’s a time-honored tradition, not everyone wants their partner to smash cake in their face. In fact, this bride who is currently seeking a divorce told her husband very clearly that she didn’t want him to do it for obvious reasons.

“Being a reasonable man who knows me well, he didn’t,” she told to Slate magazine’s advice column called “Dear Prudence. “Instead, he grabbed me by the back of the head and shoved my head down into it. It was planned since the cake was DESTROYED, and he had a bunch of cupcakes as backup.”

He didn’t just do that, did he?

She eventually came to the realization that she couldn’t remain married to him. How could she when he was unable to respect her wishes on their wedding night? By doing so, he completely disrespected her. She is struggling to move on, though her friends and family encourage her to give him another chance.

“I left. Next day I told him we were done. I am standing by that. The thing is that over the holidays EVERYONE has gotten together to tell me I should give him a second chance,” she said.

You might be surprised by the answer from Dear Prudence, but it’s certainly accurate!

“Everyone’s sure you’re making a mistake, but they’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behavior massively turns them off,” they wrote back. “You are. So you only have to listen to yourself. I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes—to say nothing of the physical aggression—but even if it wasn’t, the fact that you really didn’t like it is enough. Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”

We hope this woman has a happy divorce! What would you do in such a situation?