Buckle up, folks. It turns out Europeans, despite their self-proclaimed sophistication, are experiencing a wardrobe crisis that’s more medieval than modern. As I discovered during my travels, Europe has somehow managed to maintain a bizarre contradiction: a culture that is both obsessed with beach attire and outraged by bare skin outside the sand.
In Australia, where we’ve perfected the art of beachwear with board shorts and a laid-back attitude, Europe seems stuck in a time warp. You can lounge nearly naked on the beach, but step onto the promenade, and you’re suddenly a public menace. It’s as if Europe is still grappling with a remnant of the Dark Ages.
The real kicker? This isn’t just about a few old-fashioned rules. Many European cities are now cracking down on tourists who dare to stray from the beach in anything less than full coverage. Take Sorrento, Italy, where the mayor, Massimo Coppola, introduced a hefty 500 euro ($800 AUD) fine for anyone flaunting bare flesh in town. His reasoning? Such behavior allegedly contributes to “widespread indecorousness” and damages the town’s reputation. It seems like a desperate attempt to protect a tarnished image.
And it’s not just Sorrento. Cities from Sicily to Barcelona have followed suit, imposing similar “cover up” mandates. Even Dubrovnik in Croatia has jumped on the bandwagon, warning Sail Croatia revelers to cover up or face fines. Isabella Lakin, a savvy traveler, recently took to TikTok to share her warnings: “Do not wear your bikini top when you leave the beach without something over it. They will get you.” Apparently, tourists on Sail Croatia have learned this lesson the hard way.
While I’m all for adapting to local customs, these bans seem more about shifting blame than addressing real issues. During my travels, I was once asked to leave a French supermarket in Hossegor for being barefoot, but my time in Spain showed no such judgment for beachwear straying onto the streets. In fact, the only thing that seemed to offend locals was my bare feet.
These bans appear to be European officials’ way of deflecting frustration from their own failures onto tourists. The true erosion of a city’s reputation isn’t caused by tourists briefly wearing swimwear in public but by overcrowded hotspots, rising rental prices, and the influx of fast food joints that overshadow the local charm.
Rather than fining tourists for minor dress code violations, European officials should focus on tackling the real issues affecting residents: the over-commercialization and unaffordability that plague their cities. When authorities start policing every detail of tourist behavior, it’s clear they’re diverting attention from their own shortcomings.
Instead of imposing rules that fuel rebellion, perhaps Europe should let natural social cues—like a local giving you a disapproving glance—do the work. Banning things in writing often just makes them more appealing.
So here’s a message from a pesky tourist: Europe, fix the bigger issues before you start regulating swimwear. Until then, you’ll have to deal with a few bare shoulders along with your overcrowded streets and overpriced lattes.
