Sarah Howell is a 31-year-old from Richmond, Virginia. She was excited when she was able to adopt a baby. Unfortunately, she was only able to spend five days with the baby girl after the baby’s mother changed her mind. Sarah thought it was a joke when she received the phone call asking her to give the baby back. The girl’s birth parents had 10 days to decide if they wanted to get the baby back.

Sarah was devastated when she said goodbye to her daughter. She said that it was one of the worst pains she ever felt. She said that it felt like a death because she was not sure about whether she could ever see the baby again. However, Sarah and her husband say that they are not mad at the birth parents. They stated that if they had the chance, then they would tell the baby about how much her parents loved her.

Sarah and her husband had struggled with infertility prior to adopting the baby girl. She eventually conceived and had a son. When Sarah’s son was a year old, a social worker called and asked if they would be interested in adopting a baby boy. Saran and her husband were afraid to adopt because they did not want to have to give up another child. However, they eventually decided to adopt the baby boy. They have also decided to foster another little boy.

“I was feeding her when the call came through,” Howell told the outlet. “I fell to the floor in despair. I kept saying over and over to my husband, ‘You’re joking, this is a joke, right?’”

“Saying goodbye to her hurt more than words can adequately describe,” Howell said. “It felt like an actual death to us because we knew we would likely never see her again.”

“If we could, we would tell them how much we love them, and how lucky baby girl is to have them as parents,” Howell said.

“I knew I wouldn’t be able to prevent this, so it felt vulnerable and scary to love a child again knowing they might not stay,” she said.

“When I pulled him to my chest, I found myself talking to God, thanking him for giving us this miracle and making it to the other side of infertility,” she said.

“It is what we prayed for for so long after all,” she said. “Three under 3 is certainly an adventure and at times utter chaos. But the giggles, laughter, and joy far outweigh anything else.”