There’s something about Mom’s smile and cozy cradle that feels like home. Most of our anxieties fade and their heavenly voice fills up our spirits with peace of mind. But for people who have lost their mommies, thought and feelings of their pleasant memories together frequently arrives with distress.
Someone who’s learning to deal with this kind of grief is Erica Allen Peden. She recently lost her mum and is straining to deal with her void …
In an emotional post on the Love What Matters page, Erica explained what occurred the day Erica lost her mother.
” It was April 23rd, 2017 and I was lying in bed with my husband of close to 5 months, laughing about something one of our cats did. I rolled over to get ready for the day when Nick, my husband, said, ‘Where are you going?’ At just after 10 am on a Sunday, I was planning to go see my mom, who lived about 7 minutes away with my dad and brother. She had just gone through an abdominal surgery and was resting. I told him, ‘I’m going to see mom. She wants to hang out with me like every day.’
This is the moment I am most ashamed of in my life. If it sounds bratty and immature, that’s because it is. I didn’t mean it. This was actually very unusual of me to say. I loved being with my mom. I work and live in the same city as my family because of them.
‘ She wants to hang out with me like every day.’ That’s the last sentence I said before I got the phone call that not only changed my life but broke my heart. My phone started ringing and I pick up my little brother’s call only to hear him panicking and crying. ‘Mom’s had a seizure or something, I don’t know what to do.'”.
In place of remaining on the telephone to be sure her mother was okay, Erica snapped at her younger brother to hang up and contact 9-1-1. There was no time to waste.
The entire time Erica’s momma was studying how to execute CRP on her husband, she was actually coaching him how to assist her.
” In about an hour, my mom had passed away and my family went into deep shock. This Oct. 23rd marks 1.5 years without talking to my mom, touching her, laughing with her, dancing to the Bee Gees together, or going to see a movie- our favorite thing to do. At 26, I am the second-oldest of 4. I had to look all three of my siblings in the eyes at different times and tell them our mom was gone while my dad and nana were with her to end care. My brother was the one to go home and clean up the carpet where she passed away because, as it happens, bodily functions take over. He was 19 at the time.”.
Erica grabbed the reigns and really helped assist her loved ones during their darkest time. Erica also utilized her anguish as the power to better herself as a woman. She took part in new community groups, forged improbable companionships and enjoyed others with much more of her soul.
” Since her passing, I joined a church. I share weekly meals with my nana. I planned my youngest sister’s graduation party and held a baby shower for my oldest sister. I spoke at my grandfather’s funeral, at the same place, nearly a year to the day after my mom’s, his daughter’s, funeral. I still baby my brother and he still rolls his eyes at me with a ‘Whaaat,’ since I’m probably asking for something. I call my dad at noon and 4 pm, my mom’s old lunch break and the time she left work.
It has been the longest 1.5 years of my life. I have had one dream about her. In that dream, she hugged me, and I could smell her lotion. This was about a year ago. In the dream, I finally had the chance to tell her, ‘I loved hanging out with you. I love you.’.
It doesn’t matter what age you are when a parent passes. It could be a peaceful passing or something incredibly shocking. When it does happen, no matter what, you will randomly stop and think, ‘I can’t believe this happened to us.’ It sucks. It’s devastating.
The best way it can be summed up is by something the ‘This Is Us’ creator, Dan Fogleman, said. Dan also lost his mother. He said, ‘My mom died 10 years ago, unexpectedly. It’s the hinge upon which my life swings.’ If there ever was a way to describe this feeling of total loss, this it is for me.
Call your moms and dads. Call your siblings. Take your grandparents to lunch. Plan a party. Work a little too much. Talk to God often. Cry when you want to and, most of all, think about how soft your mother’s hand was when she would pat you on the leg and say, ‘Love you, baby.'”.
We should really all take Erica’s words to heart. Connect to people you love more frequently. Show them you care. You do not know what memory may be the last you two make!
